Expose The Tard Exposing the truth from as far back as 1993.

Friday, November 6, 2009

"AWESOME SHARKS" or "CAREER GOAL: Work with robots"

I couldn't get a hold of the person that usually does my graphics for me for this, so in case my feeble attempts make this hard to read, I will post below what this half page says.
Nick Pacione

HOMEROOM: Mrs. Nierswicki

CAREER GOAL: Work with robots

THE THING I LIKED BEST ABOUT HALL SCHOOL was the Spring Program

FAVORITE TEACHER: Mrs. Divine

WHEN HE GRADUATES FROM HIGH SCHOOL, HIS CLASSMATES THINK HE WILL still draw awesome sharks.
To be fair, the "HALL SCHOOL" can't be blamed on Nicky as that typo wasn't just on his bio page.

I originally planned on just posting this pic with no text because it speaks for itself, but I have to post to ask: Did anyone else think of Napoleon Dynamite when they saw him drawing "awesome sharks"? I'm sure none of the thousands of people that read his account of him in high school (or the two people that actually paid to read "An Eye In Shadows") would have compared him to Napoleon after reading his account of his time there, but that movie is all I can think of when I see this. Little did they know he'd transend beyond drawing sharks in an awesome manor and instead, write about them as ghosts.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

NICKY: BUSINESS OWNER

I'm not talking about Lake Fossil Press because that certainly wasn't a business, and sure as hell isn't a "press" in any sense of the word.

No, I'm talking about Nicky's desire to take over ownership of a place called Ven-U , a multi-leveled establishment in downtown Joliet that features a range of musical genres and food.
Nickolaus Pacione
Lamenting the closing of The Ven-U. Saw the disrepair of the place, now thinking of taking over the ownership.
Now I know what you're thinking: You're thinking Nicky doesn't have a chance in hell of achieving this goal. Why? Because his sole income is based off of disability checks that he usually wastes on his failed book projects? You think that no bank would loan him such a large amount needed to take ownership of such a place? You believe the fact he continues to spend his money on books no one ever buys (but they certainly torch) he must have no business or common sense?

Maybe you remember Nicky explaining that the money he got from his former Associated Content account (haha former) he could finally afford to eat lunch at a Chinese resturant, denoting that he is so poor he has to save to pay for a $7 meal. Is that it?

You guys don't know that for sure. After all, he recently had a book signing and for all you know he may have sold every last copy of his boo...
Nickolaus Pacione
is home right now. Signing was a bust.
6 hours ago
Oh my. Yet another book signing that was a bust. Yet another bus trip into Chicago to sell his wares only to have his cruelest enemy, humankind's desire not to pay money to stare at something that will make their eyes bleed and brain hurt, strike again. Well if any good is to come out of this, it will be that Nicky now has undeniable proof he sucks terribly and has no chance as a writer. Since he's limped away from each and every failed book signing (no wait...he usually gets driven off in the back of an ambulance after the stress of being out of the basement inevitably gets to him) and since this week shows that he has failed each and everytime he's ever tried, finally he can give up his laughable dream at being a writ
Nickolaus Pacione
The Ex room mate showed up and the bitch jinxed everything.
Nevermind he's doomed to repeat this shit over and over again. Just as he's done before, he can blame yet another failure on his ex-roommate. Notice he said she "jinxed everything"? She didn't actually do anything, she was simply in the same building as him. As we all know by now, none of the constant failures in his life are ever, ever his fault. It's always been someone elses.

But now he's gotten so desperate that he has no other choice but to blame his latest string of embarrassments on jinxs. Imaginary curses that no one can prove, most certainly not him, are all that's left for him to blame his misery on.


But certainly someone who hasn't been able to sell more than five copies of anything in the past decade due to evil jinxes has a chance at "taking over ownership" of a legitimate business...right?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Like A Skinny, Greasy Gothy Sanra Who Still Lives In A Basement or Field Of Dreams

Nicky returned to the net recently and has been trying to make up for lost time.

Where has he been, besides completely offline for two months? Growing a beard.

Nickolaus Pacione
Scratching his full beard. Still trying to get used to having a full beard from just having a mustache and goatee. Packing the razor so he can shave his neck (Navy basic training had us shaving our neck when we would shave our face with a double blade razor.) It is the 13th anniversary of enlisting (when they gave the delayed entry program.)

On top of his rampant ass-kissing networking, poor Nicky has been playing the waiting game and quoting "Field Of Dreams":

Nickolaus Pacione
Those of you who play in Gothic Metal, Industrial Metal, Thrash/Speed Metal, Death Metal, Goth Rock, Gothic Hard Rock, or various related genres that use a full double bass kit from Chicago and looking for a venue to play at? Here's the myspace page for The Ven-U. They got a form for you to fill out with inform...ation about the band either national or local, cover or original they will book. Just don't book the show on December 4, 5, or 6 because Queensryche will be playing at Realto Square Theater. This is the first time that Joliet is hosting a Progressive Metal Icon. I am trying to get tickets for this show but I will take press kits, demo CDS, and flyers. I am trying to get something together at The Ven-U. The stage is a good sized one and it's two floors. I've been on the main floor when a show wasn't playing. I will give you the tools to book, and paraphrasing Field of Dreams if you book it, they will come. The Ven-U does have a physical website outside of Myspace. Their number is on their profile. I added them and learned that Beneath Betrayal is from Joliet (they broke up before the April 19th show with Neutral Red, Dark Spectrum, Ezurate and Withering Soul.) I am looking to work with Pitch Black Productions and other like minded metal promoters (either faith based or secular. I will book them together if they mesh well.)

But he isn't still waiting, is he?

Nickolaus Pacione
Just playing the damn waiting game. It's like a lion walking back and forth in a cage.

Ah well that was the 29th surely he's no longer waiting, right?

Nickolaus Pacione
Bus is almost here. They'd be calling anytime. October 29 at 7:17am

Nevermind. Oh well he can act like a groupie heterosexual fan and continue to kiss the ass ofhard-on for Nevermind. Oh well he can act like a groupie heterosexual fan and continue to kiss the ass ofhard-on for grown to love over the years, at least until they find out what he's really like and decide they are better off having one less stalker fan.
support celebs he has grown to love over the years, at least until they find out what he's really like and decide they are better off having one less stalker fan.

P.S. It's Nicky alright: He went all the way back to one of my very first blog entries (where I had people guess the last number in his home phone) and called me a pussy.

Report Him Anonymously

Copy/paste url of offending website