"I want to scare people. Not leave them hot and bothered thank you very much."

That title sums up Nicky's dating life perfectly, but it's actually from a .pdf where he tells potential authors what he wants them to submit to his anthologies. Nothing new: Namedropping, giving someone or something the "middle finger", un-PC, characters have to be blue-collar people, no erotica, etc. There are some gems in it though...

"Hey HeadBangers, Goths, Rivetheads, and punks! Do you write dark, menacing horror fiction? Want to get your scary asses published and paid doing it?"

Then avoid Lake Fossil Press!

"No sex in the story though. I know sex sells..."

Which is why his books never do.

"I want this to be a mosh pit of horror fiction."

In other words, "I want this to be chaotic and for anyone involved to leave sore".

"I am being read by people as far as Australia..."

That part is true. SomethingAwful.com and EncyclopediaDramatica have readers worldwide.

"I am doing a charity anthology called DYERS EVE."

WAIT WHOA what's this? DYER'S EVE is now a charity anthology? Nicky must have made fun of the Haiti earthquake somewhere and now has to pretend he has a heart by pretending to raise money for them. QUAKES AND STORMS started out as just another anthology, until he got caught making NOLA flood jokes about a sucessful female author he hates (who he mentions yet again in this .pdf) and none of the money from the two people who purchased it went to help those in need.

"Some of them are vehicles for my own work because they're too controversial to send out."

In other words, "I tried sending out my stories to every publication I could find and they all still avoid my dogshit like the plague, so instead of trying to better my craft so that I can actually get accepted somewhere, I'll just print them myself."

"I know my readers very well and some of the readers actually submit to the magazine."

"And they are both very nice people."

"I am looking for the hardest of the hardcore horror fiction here, the harder and more razorwire it is – the better the chances it would get accepted to the magazine. Make it kick my ass into my face."

He'll need to mark somewhere since he's all ass.

"I want explicit content, swear your brains out – even do stories calling God a bastard or a motherfucker,, but don't do anything that reflects the left hand path. Be dark but not blasphemous...

"...then send me the definition of 'blasphemous' since I apparently don't know."

"My Internet is screwy right now so I have to upload the magazine on a borrowed
computer or the library computer."

So he has to sneak away to get back online.

"Gothic is fine – just give it a Blue Collar touch. nothing lace or PVC (if you have leather, it better be just a biker jacket or a leather blazer, Black Levi's or Lee's, Boots think black construction books or Combat Boots instead of NuRocs,)"

Ugh he's still all about masturbatory writing. Every single solitary story he's ever written, he's included himself in. That's bad enough, but now he's asking all the other contributors to...well...jerk him off too. By all the other contributors, I mean people in Illinois, because he listed where he wanting his writers to hail from, then mentioned nearly every city in Illinois and why.

Let me leave you with this...

"...fuck you GUD, FUCKING COCKSUCKER accused me of being a ripoff when EG was first."