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Thursday, March 6, 2008

"Hall of Mirrors"

"Hall of Mirrors"

Essay journal
For * * Pacione (my *) and Melany * *

30 January, 1999:

As I begin to write this entry, the thoughts I describe are the fears inside of my nightmares - such as the horrors creeping within one's mind when one begins to dream. Inside one should not be writing of this nature because it makes one unsound in their thinking. As I'd been taught in a church that a Christian should not be having nightmares, but that is unrealistic - one is no one because what is spoken in the mind should not even be conceived. That one falls asleep to awaken inside of a hall of mirrors. The thoughts inside are trying to become more real; as one is told that the nightmares are as a computer virus - the horror of what becomes the Y2K of the human mind.

Only as one thinks this, I am alone - I am no one, one that is hunted as a witch by the rural individuals whom look at the Bible as the only book one should be reading. Within the mind of the God Fearing, the dark imagination is a virus as one in the computer which is allows one to run away from them. As the birth of my * taken place yesterday morning, one can only say that the darkest fears are inside the hall of mirrors in a funhouse. Such as when I was dreaming about the place called Lower Wacker Drive, in a cavern of rusted pipes and concrete. Inside - one is no one. That I look around the quiet hospital, alone in the midst of the night. All I could hear are the nightmare voices inside - one is no one, lurking, seeking for a way out of the hall of mirrors. I am the one who should not be frightened, but as I dream - inside the hall of mirrors where I'd see my child as he would be my age. A fear that would be too harrowing to describe in mere words.

Such thoughts should be erased as the Y2K virus, in the eyes of the rural Christians - in the hall of mirrors. Madness - as I'd be thinking this or be writing of the darker fears becoming. The emotions are quite strong -- of fear and worry because of the world that * will be growing up in. One would say that I am unrealistic because I refuse to look at it in the eyes of a Christian that would be caught inside of the rapture - knowing that one is left behind. As this is seen in the eyes of my own, the horrors that stand alone are as when I was living on the streets - and the eyes that seen of that of Melany's, one is often worried what the world offered a child at the end of the Millennium. Madness - the thoughts that write a play on human emotions as the hall of mirrors written inside of ones dreams. I am no one - one that is not blameless for the horrors inside the dreams, and as it is written, one should not be describing their darkest fears in the open.

In my sleep - I am haunted, as a spirit of the living. My imagination is troubled as a person with a drug addiction, an addiction that is similar to one who'd been taking Crank. One would be saying that I am morbid because of the entry I describe, but the fear of the unknown is what had driven me to sit down at the keyboard to write this about the nightmares lurking inside of the imagination. In the eyes that see the world as a curse - a virus within the hall of mirrors, being the imagination is the curse of magick. Alone, it is creeping, the mental Y2K awaiting inside of the imagination - awaiting for one to be deleted as the computer that I sit down to type this entry from.

  • Favorite WBS Chat Rooms: Christian, Gothic Cathedral
  • email: nick-pacione@mailexcite.com
  • Age: 22
  • Sex: Male
  • Marital Status: engaged To * (online name withheld) by ETT

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