So You Still Think He Is Straight?

Wednesday, February 21st, 2001
Negative 16 degrees Farenheight -- colder than the beath of the spirits leaving their shells behind. I am getting ready to pack up for my assignment up in Racine -- then shooting back down to Chicago and Joliet. I am barely awake and not even a dose of caffine would wake my ass up for the day so I thought I would write in this thing before I would get going to start with the packing process -- not a lot of things to pack but the person would want to see some of the things that I had done as a photographer. I would tell her to visit my site that I had done though onyx. I don't know when would be the next time that I would be writing in this though -- because I would be away from a computer for a few days but it would do me some good though. Though it would be colder than a mother fucker though but it would be something that would add to the pictures -- I am like a mailman in that sense, would do that pictures either rain, snow, or shine. I am trying to think about how I am going to be doing some of these pictures.

This is the first time I worked with someone outside of who I usually do pictures with, which are either my own cousin, Erica, Richie or doing the pictures myself. The first person I have done pictures with were with my former girlfriend and I had to give her all the input and she was showing me all the cemeteries in Iowa. Something that I would remember of her when we first met but now we are no longer together and I have moved on. We always had friction though when it came to my writing in the latter years that I have bene writing -- she would not ready anything that I have written during the years of 1998 and 1999. She nearly destroyed the disk that she typed up the story I wrote titled The Painting. That was a story that was almost lost but I am going to be linking it though only through this journal for those who want to see how I write first hand. I thought this would be something for everyone to take a look at while I am away.

I will always find someone that would cause some friction because they disagree with something that I would do, something that was the case when I was visiting a good friend going to Wheaton College. I always expect it though because it comes with the territory having a site that is Writings From The Grave. That is why I had spent a lot of time in the Theosophical Society on Scmale and St. Charles Roads -- where Carol Stream was one block from there. Where I was living with my parents at the time it wasn't too far of a bike ride from there. I had access to the full place because of a good friend used to work there -- one that we were on the wrestling team together. I had set him up with a woman that came on too strong for me because I had been just out of a relationship with a woman who had turned lesbian on me. But it was her who encouraged me to persue my writing to the next level -- and that is when I had been keeping a journal, something that I had not of done for many years.

She in many ways influenced me to think for myself and not kiss ass on a higher scale. My recent ex had tried to kill my writings and creativity -- when I was writing the story, The Cavern, I remember the day very well. I was at her apartment and she said that I could use her computer to type out a story. She was bored and horny -- and was laying on the couch, stripping beneath the covers while I was trying to stay focused. She started with her shirt and pants then her bra and panties. I was saying, "Dammit M****y, not now. I am trying to think of something to write about. I was trying to write about the time that I took you through Lower Wacker Drive. I think that I have something here and going with it."