"this is the physical injury list"

With the exception of watermarking, the picture below was not doctored. It may just be a trick fo the light, but his right eye (our left) looks like it has a shiner.

Date: 2002-10-18 19:39

Subject: this is the physical injury list:

Security: Public

• Broken right ringfinger at age 16, during a preseason basketball clinic
• strained my back at 17 while in judo <---LOL
• spraned my ankle at 14 on three different occasions two while in wrestling practice, then the third when I was 16 -- a car nicked it.
• ripped out my fingernail on my left index at the age of 19 in a work accident
• strained my back at age 20 from getting hit by a car
• stabbed at age 22, bit by a rat at age 22
• scraped up my face at 19 from moutain biking
• now strained my back at age 26

"Hall of Mirrors"

"Hall of Mirrors"

Essay journal
For * * Pacione (my *) and Melany * *

30 January, 1999:

As I begin to write this entry, the thoughts I describe are the fears inside of my nightmares - such as the horrors creeping within one's mind when one begins to dream. Inside one should not be writing of this nature because it makes one unsound in their thinking. As I'd been taught in a church that a Christian should not be having nightmares, but that is unrealistic - one is no one because what is spoken in the mind should not even be conceived. That one falls asleep to awaken inside of a hall of mirrors. The thoughts inside are trying to become more real; as one is told that the nightmares are as a computer virus - the horror of what becomes the Y2K of the human mind.

Only as one thinks this, I am alone - I am no one, one that is hunted as a witch by the rural individuals whom look at the Bible as the only book one should be reading. Within the mind of the God Fearing, the dark imagination is a virus as one in the computer which is allows one to run away from them. As the birth of my * taken place yesterday morning, one can only say that the darkest fears are inside the hall of mirrors in a funhouse. Such as when I was dreaming about the place called Lower Wacker Drive, in a cavern of rusted pipes and concrete. Inside - one is no one. That I look around the quiet hospital, alone in the midst of the night. All I could hear are the nightmare voices inside - one is no one, lurking, seeking for a way out of the hall of mirrors. I am the one who should not be frightened, but as I dream - inside the hall of mirrors where I'd see my child as he would be my age. A fear that would be too harrowing to describe in mere words.

Such thoughts should be erased as the Y2K virus, in the eyes of the rural Christians - in the hall of mirrors. Madness - as I'd be thinking this or be writing of the darker fears becoming. The emotions are quite strong -- of fear and worry because of the world that * will be growing up in. One would say that I am unrealistic because I refuse to look at it in the eyes of a Christian that would be caught inside of the rapture - knowing that one is left behind. As this is seen in the eyes of my own, the horrors that stand alone are as when I was living on the streets - and the eyes that seen of that of Melany's, one is often worried what the world offered a child at the end of the Millennium. Madness - the thoughts that write a play on human emotions as the hall of mirrors written inside of ones dreams. I am no one - one that is not blameless for the horrors inside the dreams, and as it is written, one should not be describing their darkest fears in the open.

In my sleep - I am haunted, as a spirit of the living. My imagination is troubled as a person with a drug addiction, an addiction that is similar to one who'd been taking Crank. One would be saying that I am morbid because of the entry I describe, but the fear of the unknown is what had driven me to sit down at the keyboard to write this about the nightmares lurking inside of the imagination. In the eyes that see the world as a curse - a virus within the hall of mirrors, being the imagination is the curse of magick. Alone, it is creeping, the mental Y2K awaiting inside of the imagination - awaiting for one to be deleted as the computer that I sit down to type this entry from.

• Favorite WBS Chat Rooms: Christian, Gothic Cathedral
• email: nick-pacione@mailexcite.com
• Age: 22
• Sex: Male
• Marital Status: engaged To * (online name withheld) by ETT

"I represent the state of Illinois"

For many eons, man had told stories that had invoked their darkest notions and their darkest fears. I had used horror as medium to write for almost ten years. For as long as we have the imagination, we will have the believe in boogymen, vampires, ghosts and witches; the folklore that scares us out our reasonable minds. The 20th century gave the works of H.P. Lovecraft, Robert Bloch, and a host of others. I am one of the many underground horror writers that are coming to the scene. "Method Into The Heart Of Madness", "A Dark Place" and "The Unwritten Relic" are tales that I wrote almost three years ago but I don't know if they will be remembered.

New England and New Orleans gave us a form of gothic fiction for a number of years, and now the Mid West is following in its foot steps; I represent the state of Illinois in the tales of horror, I am ushering in a few others as well coming from Iowa and Minnesota. There is a new form of gothic fiction that reflects the imaginations of all that have the fear of the unknown.

Either He's Bad At Math, Or He Doesn't Care Who Knows

Nickolaus A. Pacione


Jan 27 2008 1:38 AM

Happy birthday on the 2nd. Yeah I am getting up there too at 32. When I say it like that it is because my mother is fifteen years older than me.

Apparently We Want To Ruin Stephen Hawking

Nickolaus Pacione said...

You fucker have no life and no ambition either. What is your biggest ambition in your life, ruin an author who is disabled. And FUCK GAY RIGHTS; think that could be the reason none of you want to see me suceed either because I am the worst nightmare to that.

March 3, 2008 10:59 AM

He must mean Stephen Hawking, right? He must have meant we are

trying to ruin him. He is an author after all who was actually published more
than once with an actual publishing company, and he is in fact, disabled.

While I would never say that mental illness is not a disability, I would say
Nicky should read up on Mr Hawking.

From Wikipedia

Hawking is severely disabled by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS (a type of motor neurone disease); this condition is commonly known in the United States as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

He gradually lost the use of his arms, legs, and voice, and is now almost completely paralyzed. During a visit to the research centre CERN in Geneva in 1985, Hawking contracted
pneumonia, which in his condition was life-threatening. It resulted in acute difficulty of breathing, which could only be overcome through a tracheotomy by which Stephen Hawking lost his natural speech ability. He has since used an electronic voice synthesizer to communicate.

Despite his disease, he describes himself as “lucky" – not only has the slow progress of his disease provided time to make influential discoveries, it has also afforded time to have, in his own words, “a very attractive family”.^[19] When Jane was asked why she decided to marry a man with a 3-year life expectancy, she responded: “Those were the days of atomic gloom and doom, so we all had a rather short life expectancy."

What is it like to be a disabled author? Let's compare one to Nicky

Stephen: Lost the use of his arms, legs,
and voice.
Nicky: Has use of his arms, legs, and
high pitched voice, but still whines about being disabled.

Stephen: Now almost completely

paralyzed.
Nicky: Not paralyzed, but still whines
about being disabled.

Stephen Has written many best selling

books, most published by an actual publisher (Bantam Books) one of which sold 9
million copies by 2002.
Nicky Has not written a best seller, not
been published by a recognized publishing company, has sold 9 books mostly to
himself, but still whines about being disabled.

Stephen: Despite being almost completly

paralyzed is a millionare.
Nicky Lives in grandparents basement for
the past decade, on S.S.I., can never afford to pay his authors, but still
whines about being disabled.

Stephen: Has had one of his books made
into a movie and has actually been on the big screen and television.
Nicky: Lies to everyone and says a movie
studio wants to make one of his anthologies into a movie, was featured on Jerry
Springer for a minute, but still whines about being disabled.

Stephen: Has been married twice despite
almost completely paralyzed.
Nicky: Not paralyzed, single, never
married, hasn't had a girlfriend in years, but still whines about being
disabled.

Stephen: Doesn't whine about his
disability or use it to gain pity, but instead has become a rich and famous
despite it.
Nicky: Whines about being disabled and
blames his mental quirks and others for him not being rich and famous.

Nicky stop whining about being disabledIn surmation:

How To Manage A Band Part 2 (Make Yourself The MC and Add Puppets, Seriously Add Puppets)

Lots of room for band to run around stage? Check.

Lost of room for most pit? Check.

Give away more books with your autograph even though you tell people you need to sell those books to pay the people that actually wrote the stories? Check.

Bill Baird type puppets? What?

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 18 2008 4:49 AM

Be prepared for an intense billing in April -- my buddies are joining you on the bill at Nite Cap. (This is the one I will be definately coming to since I haven't seen NR in ten years, and I am their acting manager to get their other shows set up.)

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 23 2008 5:07 PM

hey Slash -- hope you're ready for this one, April 19, 2008, Neutral Red is going to be tearing shit in Chicago. My long time friends from Iowa. This is a part of my history as a writer in some ways. This will open the door for Chicago bands to play in Iowa too.

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 23 2008 3:11 PM

If You guys aren't ready for NEUTRAL RED -- be ready they're one of the heaviest bands from Northern Iowa. For One night only, I am an Iowan. We're all going to be INSANE OUT WALKING ABOUT in CHICAGO.

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 23 2008 11:54 PM

HEy Daemon -- that first show in Chicago, this will be the first time I am going to be the Master of Ceremonies that night and I have a book to present to the five of you (it is signed to the whole band. If you wonder which one it will be -- talk to Withering Soul because Metal Pirate bought this one at Gothicfest 2007.) Rebel Radio and Pitch Black Productions are doing this one.

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 24 2008 8:33 PM

Told ya I am going to make it happen for Neutral Red-- their test show is at The Nite Cap in Chicago, Illinois. The roster will be Withering Soul, NR, and Beneath Betrayal. Guess who is doing the MC duties and I will tell you one thing it will not be you know who. Do you anyone who makes the Bill Baird type puppets? I am looking for a

prop for the show.

How To Manage A Band Part 1 (Running Room Required)

The promotion machine gets started by basically asking people on myspace where the band he is "managing" can destroy and tear shit up. Of course the goal is for it to revolve around him so he can "MC" it and shill his books. Even his questions about where they can have a lot of room because Nicky has seen them "running all over the stage" is sprinkled heavy with references to himself and the connections he has. It's sad really.

Is it just me, or does "know any venues that Neutral Red can come in and completely destroy?" remind anyone else of Napoleon Dynomite asking "You ever take it off any sweet jumps?"

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Dec 22 2007 9:20 PM

Small list of the Chicago acts that you need to get in touch with.

Withering Soul (Opened for Dark Funeral)
Empyrean Sky
FRAGMENTATION (they will complimetn the fear factory influence.)
T3chn0ph0b1a (industrial/cyberthrash act from Italy.)


I am working on more connections as the days go on. I will e-mail pitchblack productions for you guys the moment I get done here, and drop John of Empyrean Sky an instant message. Withering Soul has following around here. Talk with their bassist because he's the one I made the contact with at Gothicfest 2007. Tell him you knew me from Iowa. What you do before you start with the booking is come to Chicago for a few days and just explore the venues so you know what the layout is like and know what could be done in there. The Odeum -- hell you could do the fire act leading into the venue. I am need a place that could allow you guys some running room especially since you were all over the stage when I saw you in 1998.

Nickolaus A. Pacione


Neutral Red

Feb 4 2008 11:55 PM

Hey all -- I got two bands wanting to a venue they can totally destroy for a show or two. They are looking for a band to join the roster -- know anywhere they can tear shit up at. The first is Fragmenation -- an industrial act helmed by two brothers and one of them is a published author. The other is Neutral Red out of Cedar Falls / Waterloo, Iowa. Neutral Red is working on pure momentum from opening for DevilDriver (Dez from Coal Chamber.) I want to do this as a full on thrash / Industrial / Hard Rock show, basically I want to do this big and do this right. This is the first time that NR played anywhere in the Chicago area -- they want to hit Chicago HARD. They are very heavy, very fast and loud. The guitarist has very fast fingers on the guitar too -- I know because I used to jam with them. He was doing Black Sabbath's first track with some intense speed and squealing the guitar. (I did a signing at a show that Fragmentation hosted at Cafe Lura, but when NR is coming through they will need something hell of a lot bigger. I've seen them live early on. They toured with SlipKnot right before SlipKnot got signed to Road Runner.

Nickolaus A. Pacione



Feb 4 2008 11:26 PM

Hey Guys -- Neutral Red and Fragmentation are looking for a venue so they can play together, and their looking for a few other bands to join them. I thought you guys and Empyrean Sky off the bat along with Withering Soul. Drop both Apathademon and NR a message on their myspace profiles, they need a venue that can handle NR's insane mosh pits. They opened for EXODUS.

Nickolaus A. Pacione

Feb 17 2008 7:13 AM

Hey all -- know any venues that Neutral Red can come in and completely destroy? They are a thrash metal act from Cedar Falls, Iowa, and they played with Devil Driver.

"I am a pagan" or "I had been told to get on the short bus" OR "I respect anyone with an open mind"

Freedom of Speech, Nicky, wouldn't involve you getting my pictures removed like a whiny baby.

I am a horror writer from the Chicago area, and grew up most of my life in Illinois. The way I write is a reflection of the hell I had faced while I was growing up because I was always made fun of because of the way I looked. People didn't like the way I think or the music that I listened to -- while living in Glendale Heights, I was didrespected because I listened to dark heavy metal such as Testament and Obituary then later Frontline Assembly. Living in a Bible Belt, I got shunned as an adult because of the way I write and think. They would say that I am going to hell in a handbasket because I read the writings of Clive Barker and H.P. Lovecraft. I like some of Stephen King's writings, but I like mine darker and meaner -- that is when I started writing. I was driven by the dark history that would haunt Du Page County -- ritualistic murder, rape and homocide as well as friends that are now dead, and some that are facing life for murder. While I lived in Mason City, Iowa I would be shunned because I thought differently than them -- where they would be following their high school sports, I would be thinking about the crimes that inhabited my home county. Mason City was like Wheaton, but the small town Christians like to corner people into going to church and would discourage free thought. My quest for individuality had costed me a fiance and the close minded views of the state had taken away my young son. If one may ask if I like Mason City, Iowa, my answer is why don't yuou come to Joliet or Chicago? This is my way of saying "fuck off" to the small town values. The way I write is a reflection of the extremely violent dark side of where I grew up. This essay I wrote while talking to a real good friend of mine from that area. My curiousity leads me into places like the Ravenswood District and Cicero as well as my intrest in the supernatural, vampires, mental illness (a subject that is very personal) and the occult I had been a Christian for five years that turned to Paganism almost 2 years ago.

These days I am reading Superstitions by R.L. Stine. I though I am a pagan, I have diverse reading patterns ranging from the Bible to horror fiction. If one wants to be a writer they have to be a reader as well. My love for heavy metal music had always been the key factor of my writing because I wouldn't of known about certain horror authors -- Ozzy Osborne had always been one of my favorite metal artists and I wanted to learn how to learn play this midi on the guitar.

Those that had last seen me in 1994, this is the picture of what you remember of me but the ones that you will see are current as of 1997 to 2000. They were taken by various friends of mine and by members of my family. This pic is a reflection that I had long try to kill; that of one that of always being picked on because I never fit in with any clique and now I had realized that something that I was -- an individual that doesn't give a shit what others think of me or what they had thought of me.

The picture on the far left had corner is take at a night club that I had gone to with my best friend. The club is called The Ruby Slipper, and if anyone from Gothic Friends wish to check out the club, send me an email and I will get a hold of you. I respect anyone with an open mind, and those that will not convert me on the grounds of my lifestyle -- I am now a target of that even more because I was one of the webmasters of Gothic Vault. I was looked down upon by many because I have been in special education classes and have a learning disablity, I hate when people say that I cannot do something because I am learning disabled. This will make want to do something all the more just to prove them wrong. I had been told to get on the short bus or been chose last for anything -- this is my way of deballing them, with my writing.

Any of the stuck up jag offs wish to see the picture of the person that they made fun of for four years, this is what I look like now. And those that ask themselves why am I a sick individual and write of unnerving subject matter -- this is my anwser to that question, you fucking made me. I wish to thank one former classmate for giving me the inspiration to continue my work as an artist, Jeff Prell, if you are online and looking at this -- sign the guestbook because I want to post some of your photography up on Gothic Vault. I had his photo work in mind and took it to the next level.

Experiment Complete

The results are just what I thought they would be.

In an earlier post this week, I was given and subsequently posted a conversation between Nicky and his ex. In it, Nicky does the typical "My life is better without you" and features such lies as

• He manages a rock band.
• A famous rock band notices him
• A "horror hostess" notices him
• He's a famous author
• He has readership
• And my favorite, that he's about to land a girlfriend with money.

All of that and his apparently undisputed dick size were left on this site with no comments from him.

He didn't care that embarrassing information was out there.


Then the experiment commenced.
Drawing from an old backed up hard drive, two pictures almost a decade old along with a very old webpage intro were posted. All three items were old and long gone or at least I couldn't find them again on the web, and it was posting those that got a reaction out of Nicky.

Nickolaus Pacione said...

Must you steal everything of mine? You have no right to use those pictures and I will sue you for them. Remove the watermarks and give them back to me, as I have the right to act under the court of law and the rightful holder of the copyrights.

March 2, 2008 4:13 AM

Nickolaus Pacione said...

You have no right to use those pictures or my content.

March 2, 2008 9:03 AM

One or more people posted anonymously the point of my test which shows I'm not the only one that sees this

Anonymous said...

It's funny how he completely missed the entry before this one that *really* exposes him.

March 2, 2008 9:32 AM

Anonymous said...

That's because he's more worried about his crappy pics and stories than the girl he knocked up or the son he lost -- or for that matter any other human being.

March 2, 2008 10:02 AM

You see, he doesn't care that the world saw a private conversation where he was lying through his teeth to an old flame to make his life sound glamorous than it was. He didn't care that his penis size was revealed to the world (interesting note: Re-read the conversation and note how of all the accusations thrown at him, he was passionate to respond to anything to do with his writing and nothing more) the same went for this website. It wasn't his embarrassing personal information being out there that angered him, it was that I posted a pic of his pet rat, a pic of him from an old convention, and his ego laden intro.

Now, on to his latest legal threat. Sue me?

It's redundent to point out that Nicky doesn't comprehend most things like the rest of us do, but the fact he would send me the following email after being threatened with being arrested for extortion only proves that he is better off in a facility without internet access

Date:	Sat, 23 Feb 2008 04:38:26 -0800
Subject:	you want to keep stealing my property
To:	"exposethetard@yahoo.com"
From:	"gothicpreacher@rocketmail.com" Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by paypal.com. Learn more

Dear exposethetard@yahoo.com,

Nickolaus Pacione (gothicpreacher@rocketmail.com) would like to be paid
through PayPal.


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Amount: $800.00 USD


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Save the money you plan on suing me with to pay for your bail when you are hauled away for extortion and terrorist
threats across interstate lines. And if I remember correctly you have a libel suit in the docket from someone who you
continue to libel, on video, long after finding out you are being taken to court over it.