Getting Ready For Signings, Part 3 or "pencil fuck them"

Coming back from my signings I will end up having a weird story sitting in the back of my head and made me wish I had a laptop to write the damn thing. These days I can't write exactly on paper anymore because these ideas pound out so damn fast. How far can you go without actually crossing the line? I crossed the line many times over and this allows me to share a transgressive author trait but others I don't share.

More talk of a laptop when he still has dial-up, still hasn't paid off his last computer, another one he managed to crash recently.

When I got my ideas of where I want to do a signing at -- it was from actually listening to Martin Atkins speak about touring he wrote the book on it but might be pointed to musicians but this also applies to authors who want to get a signing going. Go to the night clubs and befriend the promoter but there are always those promoters you want to up and sock them one. I came across those recently. After leaving my apartment, they basically thought I was fair game.

One of us EONs should contact Michelle and ask what promoter he wants to punch, then tell that promoter. It also helps that he admits to befriending them for his own benefit. Those promoters we do know the venues, so it would be a shame if that got out to them, wouldn't it?

People like that use a site like AssociatedContent.com and be truthful when you do it. As much you want to up and put them on their ass -- keep your cool with them or try to. You're on a working vacation but don't come back on probation. Use that site to review their night if you hate the night, pencil fuck them. They hate that kind of press worst than writers do.

"Pencil fuck them". Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "pencil fuck them" For those reading Nicky's advice earnestly you should know that he is referring to the feeling his partner...s(?) get when he penetrates them.

This gets weirder btw.

As much Jeff and Apathademon try to do to help writers there are the promoters who try to take a crap on a writer. I am not going to give the name here but the promoter booked friends of mine. The person looks like an American Idol Reject but is from the West Coast originally, and I will leave it at that. If you have a rival in the circuit invite a lot of your friends who knew you from way back when, they saw you struggle your way up there and know what triggered you to get there.

By his own admission, he doesn't have many friends, remember that when reading his "advice".

They see the person who gave you the flack, and pull them aside and mention, "I wouldn't do that. Just care him a little bit." I did that to ease things down with Don Henrie and Current TV -- I knew how Don was with his temper from other sites. I was talking to the interviewers off record and scaring them a little bit by playing it cool casually showing my scar on the back of my head and then the ripped fingernail/knuckle scar on my left hand.

This was sad and if you doubt what I am about to say, remember that not only did I report information about the last Gothicfest about Nicky before he blogged about that night, he acknowledged what I had said and tried to explain all of it. Such as his shirt not fitting over his fat gut.

Anyway, getting back to what I know from that night, what he wrote above really happened and was both uncomfortable and hilarious.

He was clinging to Don that night, which like I said was uncomfortable to watch and yet hilarious. Really it made you embarrassed for him. Well what he said above is all true. He did try to intervene between Don and someone interviewing him, but not only was it not as bad as Nicky made it sound, Nicky didn't know him well enough to act as his manager. Then, as he said, after interrupting an interview, he detached himself from Don and re-clung to the "reporters" trying to convince them that he was the "dark one" they should be interviewing, giving them way too much information about himself, and as he said showing his scars to prove it. True they were scared off, but not scared of him, just scared they wouldn't be able to shake him from their dicks.