"The sad thing I think with these assholes like ExposeTheTard is they are basement dwellers whose life is entirely online."

"The sad thing I think with these assholes like ExposeTheTard is they are basement dwellers whose life is entirely online."

This morning, half of the Internet exploded into laughter at the sight of Nicky calling someone else a basement dweller whose life is entirely online. Anyone of the thousands of people who have seen Nicky's antics online knows that Nicky lives in his grandparent's basement. Yes I said thousands of people, which makes his selling one ONE copy of An Eye In Shadows that much more hilarious.

Everyone knows this, so I don't have to point it out, right? Too bad. Nicky you are gonna see it anyway.

Let's start with this site, when someone we now know posed as his ex, and wasn't really is ex, got into an email argument and got him to admit dozens of embarrassing things.

(Person Everyone Including Myself And Nicky Thought Was His Ex):

Paying to publish your work doesn't make you successful, it makes you pathetic. My life is far more fulfilling than your basement dwelling existence.

his response

Nickolaus: I am getting PAID for it too. This is a temporary situation with the grandparents. Melanie that is one thing you didn't understand -- devotion and sacrifice.

Not only did he not deny it, he told whomever that was earlier this year it was temporary. It's been eight months and he still dwells down there, so I'm not sure what his idea of temporary is.

But wait! Turns out that Nicky doesn't consider himself a basement dweller because, well we all remember this but it has to be seen again

I proved that Ben is a basement dweller. Where I live is not a basement, in fact it has two kitchens.

Even though Nickolaus dwells in the lowest half of his grandparents house, the half that is under the house, it's not considered a basement because it has two kitchens. This has to be the biggest basement I have ever heard of, because Nicky shares it with his uncle, cousin and someone else, AND it has two kitchens!

Speaking of Nicky, and kitchens, he posted something on his website a few weeks ago that was not only disgusting, but opened himself up for more ridicule, and no one seemed to point it out, so I will.

After having to remove a story from Tabloid Purposes IV, Nicky was incensed. So much so in fact, he wrote the following:

I took the liberty to rip it up page by page and used the title page to actually wipe my ass with it.

Gross and immature, but 100% Nicky. This is the same guy who is always talking about body functions and almost got kicked out of the apartment he was staying at because he posted a picture online of a toilet with author's pictures he urinated on. The reason they alm0st booted him is because someone emailed one of his roommates and pointed this out, then critisized how filthy their bathroom appeared. ANYWAY the point of me pointing this out is because Nicky admits to wiping his ass with the title page, but what did he do with it? Let's look at a video he made that like him, is very short where the only words are "Yeah we're in my kitchen right now"

That is a piece of paper, with his feces smeared on it, in the trash. The KITCHEN trash. Can you imagine the smell of that place with a shit smeared paper sitting in a trash can down there? Worst part? He says on the video that he is in his "kitchen". So, if that is in fact an area where food is prepared, it had a shit covered piece of paper in there, out in the open, for all to smell. Real sanitary. It would be a shame if someone were to send a letter to his address addressed to one of his relatives telling them to visit his website's September 16th 2008 entry and see that, wouldn't it? I am not saying that someone should send a snail mail to his house tipping off his relatives to look on his website to see Nicky leaving items with his shit on them in their kitchen or anything like that. Nor would I suggest that anyone print out the still frame of that video below and mail it to the house he shares with four other people so that they can recognize their kitchen and Nicky's poop covered joke sitting out in the open so don't think I am telling someone to do that.

Who was talking about "elderly abuse" recently?

Now what was that second accusation from Nicky? Oh that's right

whose life is entirely online."

More recently, Nicky has been somewhat MIA from the net with the exception of his Facebook where his life sounds more glamous than it really is, and of course his blog this morning. Aside from his recent quiet spell, Nicky can be found online daily, would you agree? Look at Something Awful's forum: Since they have discovered him someone from there has had corrispondence with him once a day it seems. And of course his myspace tells us the last time he has logged in, which is daily.

So we have established he is online everyday.

But what about his life outside of the net? He just told everyone I have no life outside the net, so lets see how Nicky fairs in that department.

From his profile on vox:

...I live in a full house (uncle, a cousin, and their spouse.) I will do vlogs when I go out to Chicago and when I get home will load them up. I am getting the feel for my digvid camera -- it isn't a strong quality.
I am a recluse in nature but yeah I am trying to get back into the dating pool (yes ladies I am single, straight, and available.) I am often at home writing a story or working on the magazine but when I get something published I will go out and celebrate. One thing I am planning to do in 2008 is try to have more of a social life.

Let's see... He admits he is a recluse here, says he is trying to get back in the dating pool, but then says that he is "often home writing a story or working on the magazine." Sound like a social life to you? Oh wait he said when he gets something published he will "go out and celebrate." Since he doesn't get published and hasn't since that was written, it's safe to assume he doesn't get out.

Oh there was New Years what a joke that was. First off he was by himself the entire night. He didn't meet up with friends or family, and didn't hook up with anyone, he went around Chicago on New Years Eve night by himself. Had he friends or a social life he'd have had a place to crash for the evening. He didn't, so he stayed at a hostel. For some odd reason he made a vlog entry from his hostel with cops in the background telling his family he was ok and an adult who doesn't have to check in all the time. (btw someone emailed me and asked me for the link to that video and I cannot find it, so if anyone knows where it is please pass it along to me so I can pass it to the person asking or just post it in the comments here and he should see it)

Remember when I exposed a number of his dating profiles earlier this year?

I am a guy who is looking for his queen in black, a horror writer
if you will. The way I think is a really complex thing and the kind of woman I
want is one that would encourage me not to be so much of a recluse.

Recluse? With the exception of the "hitatus" you've taken after Something Awful got you banned from Comcast, you always seem to be online. Everyday in fact. Oh, you meant a recluse in real life. I guess that means your life, is online?

There was another post I did on his dating past, and in yet another dating profile,

I am looking for someone I can actually grow old with in due time, sometimes an occasional intimate encounter. I want a person who is very intelectual as well as artistic. I am very much of a recluse in nature so I am looking for someone who can get me out of the reclusive phases. One who does understand that I am not really a partier but don't mind going out at times.

Reclusive phases, huh? And how lucky will the lady that he gets with next be that she has to be the one to get is ass off the computer, out of the basement, and outside once in a while? Here is a secret: He isn't friendly to anyone asking him to get off the computer, no matter who they are.


I have more, but I think I've made my point.