Expose The Tard Exposing the truth from as far back as 1993.

Monday, January 14, 2008

How To Have A Successful First Date

1) Go almost two days without sleep worrying about the date to give yourself that walking dead look.
2) Ask her to arrive at a costume ball as a kidnap victim and you the kidnapper.
3) Have her pick you up because you don't have a car and aren't allowed to drive.
4) Go Dutch.
5) Pick the seediest motels and cheapest restaurants to eat at.

[12 Dec 2002|01:00am]
It is official, I have been awake for 38 hours -- nervous about a costume for Satrinilla. I am going to pass the idea for my costume onto Sarah since she might get a rise out of the kidnapper/kidnapping victim idea for this costume ball and her costume would be something to help her beat her caustrophobia. I am going to have her come her to pick me up and would give me a chance to introduce myself to her properly in person. But on that note -- I am sending he the directions via email as I speak and have the driving directions for Satrinillia -- just need to find out how I can get them from Joliet, Illinois or even Naperville -- this is the case the closer we are to the city the better but under $60 since we are both going to be splitting the bill.
I know of a few diners that we can eat at around the area there -- been a long time since I been up to that area, well to the Naperville area been a year but the rest of the area. The place that I was drawn to was the Pagan tomb for some reason -- that was the picture that basically got everything going when I got my site revamped in the end of 2000 -- it was the thing that went up before I went to Canada. The question is trying to find a good steakhouse, my cousin's deli in Roselle, or a Quizno's. That is always the thing when going out and sleeping in hotel rooms -- one has to find places that are not too costly to eat at easy to do in Joliet but in DuPage County is a different story.
I do know of the hotels along Ogden Avenue -- one being it is hard to get into and it is about $29 a night, a person who runs it reminds me a bit of the doctor who perscribed me the Neurontin. I was looking around in my email and needed to compose a lot of it because I was lagging behind -- need to send an email to Sarah to let her know that would be leaving in a few days -- well friday depending on part of Jamie's costume arrives. I will get the pictures for this up sometime next week since I bought more batteries for the digital camera.
How did she take his ideas for a perfect date?
[14 Dec 2002|08:53pm]
The date's ride went to hell so the plan about Satrinillia fell thru, so we are trying to come up with something for Nocturna. I am writing out a narrative for my other journal at diary-x which will be done inside the next hour or so. Takes me a bit to write out the literary entries but I feel like I accomplished something when I do write them out -- sometimes it is hard to get the traffic over to there at times even when I send out emails; but now here is the thought pattern that comes about -- sometimes the dreams that I have would invoke something that I wrote from time to time. The theme would come out in one way or another; so as I speak I pulled out the word processor and writing out the dream that I had this morning. It comes about where I passed out from the influence of tylenol PM and Ibuprofen 800mg.
I am always writing one way or another; and on AuthorsDen is a good example of this. I got a few new readers and some said fairwell -- I am used to that by now; always getting new people wanting to see what everything I put into a page. There will always be the critics though -- namely the ones who are the worst are the ones that know one the longest because they would remember the time when I was not writing.


Rusty said...

That was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes . . . of laughter.

Anonymous said...

My God. I've been on some bad, sad and funny dates in my time, but even the worse of them was a hundred times better than this setup. Is he serious?

Sam said...

LOL wow... I couldn't make something up better than that.

Little Bird said...

He's pricing hotels for a blind date? Way to get ambitious there, Junior!

Phil Smith said...

Last time I laughed that hard, my 'roids popped out. If it happens again, I'll hold you personally responsible.

Hilarious as always, Expose!

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