How?
He insists you read his previous works first.
Nickolaus is annoyed with submitters who never read the magazine. Look if you're going to submit to a magazine -- at least read the damn thing.First off, who wants to submit to a "publisher" who yells at them?
It's simple: To get into his anthologies, say for example Tabloid Purposes 5, you have to have read the 4th piece of shit. Someone who attempted to get into 5 emailed me and told me Nicky was insistant that they read his previous works first. Since he will never get his crap into a library, the only other option is to buy them.
If it is a "4theluv" anthology, which really should say "4theluvofNickyseeinghisownnameonthecovergettingcreditforotherpeople'sworks", then you aren't going to get paid for your submission, but in having to buy his older shit, you are actually losing money.
If it is one that he is offering to pay for -- which is a joke because he is very well known for not paying people what he owes them -- the cost of having to buy his older fire-fodder after shipping and handling and pain medicine to remove the headache after reading what he writes, will leave the submitter only making a couple of dollars if that.
So, you are basically paying to be "published" by a "publisher" who doesn't actually do the publishing. He has to pay for his own books from lulu. He has yet to make a profit on any of his books, he is considered a joke in the industry and isn't even in the industry, and you are going to wind up paying to have him "publish" you in one of his books. The book's final product will have horrible covers with his name on the front, his picture, not yours on the back, and an "intro" written by him, all about him, and prepare to be embarrassed when you hand a relative a copy of the book you are in only to have them open it up and see a sickly caveman ranting about conspiracies against him for the first ten pages.
If you are looking to be published with him and came across this website, this article, it means you actually googled him (when you do, myself and Rusty come up before most of his own sites) and that means you have actually done some research into someone before doing business with them, making you too smart to have your name associated with him.
Or, one of the EONs, which stand for Enemies Of Nicky, found out you were about to be sucked into his scam and linked you here. If they did that, they are trying to do you a favor, and even if you choose to go with him, you shouldn't feel anything but gratitude for them trying to warn you.
I could run a convention having only the people who did business with him and regreted it attending, and need the biggest room the hotel would have because there are that many people out there ruing the day they ever fell into his traps.
Don't be one of those people. It is another scam of his, and he is looking to take your money, then, when he gets himself in trouble again for his antisocial behavior, he will use you as a shield. If you are a minority, or if God forbid you die, your name will be used by him in the hopes his detractors will leave him alone out of guilt. However you don't always have to fit those guidelines for Nicky to pull you into one of his fights:
Someone recently burned one of Nicky's magazines, not out of disrespect for the authors, but out of disrespect for Nicky, his horrible attacks against others, and of course his shady business practices. His answer to that was to grab poor Campbell and use him as a shield. He tried making L. Phillip think they did it because of him, hoping that he, like Nicky's grandmother and mother, will fight Nicky's battles for him while he sits on his ass.
One final thought: Nicky's recent idea of having more African American authors than any other race in his latest book, again so he can call racism if anyone dare critique it and call it crap, has already blown up in his face by other authors submitting.
9 comments:
LOL. I'm picturing Nicky trying to write a grant request....Besides what bills does he have? He uses a free lulu content provider page, and he uses free blogging services.
Excellent points. He drinks a lot, smokes a lot, and when he goes into the city to attend events, like The Awakening II, he won't rent a room nor offer money to stay at other people's places. Instead, he uses his food stamps to buy whoever will let him stay there food.
He doesn't have to pay child support.
No rent.
Neither soap nor shampoo ever is purchased.
He does however, buy his own books, because he is a publisher after all /sarcasm/ and gives away his copies to people!! Bands, MCs, local horror celebs, all get free copies that aren't even free to him.
That is something I hope never ends, because I wouldn't want to see an end to the burning videos!
I'm thinking about buying a copy of the latest Ethereal Gazette. It's only nine dollars, and then I have another Nicky story to play with. If I do, I'd be happy to send it on to the plays-with-matches crowd when I'm done with it.
Nick has used his last "pity warning" with me. I can't remember where he said it, but somewhere he claimed that "Collectives" was given to the person who burned it by me.
Well, I finally found that piece of shit (and unread) "book" of his.
I am in the process of mailing it to The 50 Foot Ant.
Happy review-reading, Nick.
Nicky can't really apply for a small business grant without either a business plan, in the case of a start-up, or any semblance of bookkeeping, as would be required for an established business. If you want a grant, you basically have to be able to prove a need for one.
His only expenses are the bill for his phone line, and the cost of printing and shipping his books to him for his infamous "signings."
Booze and smokes don't count as business expenses.
Well I hope after reading it, which he doesn't have to it's available online for free, that he burns it.
What say you, Ant? Are you going to get the video camera, douse it with a flammable, burn it, and upload it to youtube? XD
I've got an even better idea than burning it, something I know will cause Nicky to spaz out. Maybe the squalid little troglodyte will stroke out.
As you've all quite rightly pointed out, he's barking up the wrong tree with his thoughts of grant applications. Begging letters are where it's at. I've offered him a few tips on how to do it properly, but I doubt he'll listen. He never does...
Oh, Bluey -- just show him your third nipple, and tease with your cloven hooves. That might get his attention . . . for about three seconds.
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