"Dammit Nick, You worry me"

Again I apologize for going out of order, but let's jump back to the end of October of 2002.

I counted two attacks on innocents, hence this second post in 24 hours.

As this goes on, he will remain sick. Something to remember when he laughs at others for their ill health.
October 28th, 2002
5:36 am
I am trying to pass the time before the sleeping pills take their effect -- two tylenol PM then some other OTC's. Then I took my meds for the mental illness, so in that time will be coming, not before long that I will be able to finally get some sleep. It goes back to the last post -- how much is one willing to pay to get some sleep, I think that is sometimes the thoughts that are there at times when I am traveling that I think about this a lot -- when I am not able to get into a hotel, I think that is one of the reasons I am opted to camp when it is an option or find a place that is remote then pass out for a few hours. Especially when I took some cold medicine that is more than likely would be putting me to sleep than anything. Almost the weekend when I was in Wintrop Harbor -- not quite snowing but I knew I was coming down with a nasty cold; just when I got the gear to go up to Canada. The day when I stayed in a posh hotel in Chicago -- I could not get comfortable even to power nap, I had to run out to Walgreens and load up on cold medicine just so I could manage to get up to Kenosha but I was too tired to go so I decided to stay up in Wintrop Harbor -- the first place is where I crashed and could not remember how long I was really asleep for, but the moment I zipped myself in the sleeping bag I got for the trip to Canada with all the over the counters in my system -- the bayer PM and the NyQuil, it was a matter of minutes that I was out and dead to the world. I could hear the children in the next cabin laughing and reving their radio controled cars in the gravel -- that was when I woke up but not sure of the time it was; then when I fell back to sleep -- then the time I woke up it was close to the time it was to check out. Which is sort of the way I feel as I speak and write this entry into the pages as they are read at a later time. The hotel room was cold and dark like a coffin and death but it was peaceful where it was silent enough for one to sleep even when the sun was shining but not bright enough to keep one awake. I had a lot of nights like that where after not being able to sleep for days at a time -- I felt that I could sleep for a day and a half if not more. With the mind as it is wandering -- I watch my eyes get heavier, heavy enough to lay down but I will as soon as this is fully typed out.

He promised he'd stay healthy and he lied! Turns out another reason he prefers to sleep outside like a homeless person is because he doesn't think he can make the check out time. He's a vampire you know.

3:51 am - "Dammit Nick, You worry me"
Scary Lady Sarah made me promise that I would stay healthy from now until Satrinilla IV, easier said than done because I have a sick uncle in the house right now, which I am hoping to go to this year because last year I found myself stuck in bed with a bad cold and hoping that I could find a place where I can get everything paid for so I can sleep without having the worry of checking out by a certain time. That is the hard thing about being a day sleeper when one is travelling because they expect everyone to clear out by a certain time -- and sometimes it is hard to do since one as myself normally is a night owl by nature as of the latter days. That was the hard part about travelling by train at times too since it was the challenge of trying to sleep when everyone is running around and active. But when I was waiting to get on the train I was almost dead -- basically to word it better as someone did take all the blood out of me. This picture that was done of me was while en-route to New Orleans; it was a very tired one -- tired as the day when I took that injury to the back a little more than a week ago.
She does know about the sleep study that I am supposed to go in for, I went for the assesment to have it done then some of the bloodwork which is done but I have more bloodwork that needs to be done. -- this would be what they call the vampire shift sleep study since I normally asleep by the break of dawn. It is almost like the baby brother she never had sort of thing, it was that kind of looking out for was something my friends did a lot of when I was living in Glendale Heights -- but when I was living in Iowa, literary I felt all alone. From time when I was homeless, I walked day and night because I did not have a place to even lay my head.
There were days where I did not sleep when I was there and sometimes there are days like that when I am here. It was Sarah's friend, Stefanie who made the observation of when looking at the old pictures that I don't get enough sleep -- it sometimes look like when I am about to fall over at times from exhaustion, and that had happened when I was working as a personal assisant. The hours were almost the death of me in the sense of when I collapsed -- that was the scariest thing that had ever happened , up there with getting hit by a car in December of 1996.
I know I have people who are really worried about me at time because with my luck I am in the hospital for one thing or another -- sometimes it is something that is beyond my control such as what happened to my back; but I have to be careful since I am sometimes functioning on three days of without sleep. That is where they get worried -- especially since I collapsed on Naperville road in the summer of 1997 from exhaustion. Where it is always the age old question -- how much is a descent sleep is worth? If someone is rich but they cannot get any sleep, what good is that money to them? Sleep is worth more than money at times because their health would be the thing paying for it more than they are. The five words I hear the most is, "Dammit Nick, you worry me!" I hear that a lot when I get ready to go out and when I get ready to go home -- hear it from the family when I get ready to go out then I hear it from the friends when I get ready to go home, especially after coming back from the last trip to Chicago.

Speaking of jumping through time, I've decided since Nicky has gotten so nasty to jump back to 2001 and a few posts will be the most powerful yet.