"well I have to say for having two kids, she might look good now because I am yet to see a picture of her"

*looks at my deviantART page this morning*
I think he's doing this to get some of his old written work back. I'd be surprised if he actually wanted the public to see the pieces I choose however.
Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

I had just heard from Angel and so far her typing is a sight for sore eyes. She is still planning the trip to Chicago for Christman and working out to get down to dress size 7 for the trip here. I am just picturing what she looks like now -- a dress size nine, well I have to say for having two kids, she might look good now because I am yet to see a picture of her. She and I were wanting to get together now but sometimes it is hard to do -- she lives close to my parents in Florida, and she wants to meet my parents. There is a running joke in bloodmoon.every1.net, I give members my parents email address because they would wish her a happy birthday or send them holiday wishes. It is funny because over two hundred members reside there; and yes my parents know I do this because it shows them something that I had done with myself -- being an email service provider. Even Angel has an address there -- she has two there, one of them she gave me permission to get her started up at xanga which I am helping her set up a template, and one at diary-x when she gets more written.

Drained. This is the best way to describe what I am going through right now. Mortality is always the question on my mind because of the passing of my aunt who died of MS complications. So what is going through my mind right now -- having boughts of really deep depression. Though as depressed as I do get, suicide is never in the question though. All I want to do is just sleep, or try to do something to take the edge off. It is sometimes when I am down like this -- it takes a lot out of me to actually write something, but this time around I had done some new writings, on my journals at diary-x and on d-land. I got into a debate on livejournal with two bi's because I cracked an anti-faggot joke. It is actually funny though when they try to get into a gay/straight debate, because it would be full of jokes that would come off of jokes that I made in AngelicDenistiny's livejournal (the whole fucking thing that drove me to join xanga.) I have been deemed offensive by a Christian which is actually very hilarious because it is not the first time that this is had been done. I had also learned that I am on the list for being a guest to this years journal con. Which is going to be in Chicago, I might be one of the few gothic writers going to be there -- I passed the link on to Atalee of gothicchicago.com hoping that GothicChicago would take part in it this year. Hell, my website was one of the linked up a few years ago -- remember the tripod site. I still have it up after four years, I am going to play around with this in form of one of my journals.

Business as usual but I learned that I was on the journal con list. I am listed with my journal at diaryland, and this is the one that I had started me with doing an online journal, then there were a few jokes I cracked the expense of the Chicago North Side again. It is one of those jokes where I get the response being called an asshole or a bigoted bastard. But for the record -- I am not a racist though because most of my friend base growing up were Arabic and African American. I was harassed because I looked different but I never cared about fitting in, teased as a kid and thought differently as an adult. All because I listened to thrash metal and hardcore was one of the reasons -- mainly the stuck-up uncle fuckers because of the way I think. Years later they come to my website and then they shit themselves thinking, "this cannot be the same nerd we fucked with in school." Yes -- this is how I was precieved, but when they see the site -- the combination of thrash metal and the reading of H.P. Lovecraft invoked the twisted mind that I had always kept. One of my former school mates was a really talented photographer, and this one signed my guestbook recently. I was hoping to do a colabation with him on a photo shoot of Dream Disturber when she comes to Chicago for a week; might do one with with Carol Kelley again if I could get a hold of her. Some of the pictures I had done with her were some that reminded me of some of Jeff's old work. What I basically did with my photography was combined my writings with it -- using the visions from my writings and placed them in still life.